What Readers Are Saying...

Honesty & Beautiful Writing, March 8, 2005
Reviewer: Carole May (Western MA) - See all my reviews
Fumbling Toward Divinity by Craig Hickman is a wonderful read. Not only does Craig share the raw emotions surrounding adoptees searching for and finding their birth families, but he also shares the real issues faced by gay people and their families. His honesty and beautiful writing touches on many themes. One can only grow in insight and understanding by reading this book. Joining Craig on his journey is an adventure surrounded by pain and love.


Exquisite--A Must Read, March 3, 2005
Reviewer: Marcy Gray (Milwaukee, WI) - See all my reviews
I could not put this book down. I agree with the other reviewers on this page. This book is absolutely beautiful. Hickman's relationships with his husband, with his sisters, his parents, his birth family--all of them are exquisitely written. You can feel the pain the joy the sadness the triumph the love. Even though it is ostensibly a book about family and adoption and reunion, this book provides the best argument for gay marriage that I've ever read.

Everyone must read this book. I recommend it to people of all religious backgrounds, especially those are the far right who insist upon denying equal rights in marriage to all people.




Powerful, February 24, 2005
Reviewer: L. G. "l9876" (USA) - See all my reviews
I've taken a while to read this wonderful book, because it's so filled with complex human emotions that I needed time to breathe and think after a few chapters of its combination of lyrical prose and dynamic storytelling. The author's story resonates with anyone for whom the past is a haunting mystery containing longed for answers to essential questions about identity, love, sacrifice and survival. Anyone passionate about James Baldwin will hear echoes of the man's style, language and profoundly brave intelligence in Hickman's work. I felt lucky to have found this book.


A True Example of God's Glory, February 19, 2005
Reviewer: David Latham "David Latham" (Ft. Lauderdale, FL) - See all my reviews
I just finished reading FUMBLING TOWARD DIVINITY by Craig Hickman and found it to be a wonderful read. It is a memoir, yet it is written with the power and drive of a novel, filled with characters the reader comes to love or dislike as the facts (story) unfold. I was touched by the story of an adopted man's search for his genetic identity and the affirmation of his true self and his adoptive and chosen family's influence. The moments of discovery described by the author are filled with the beauty, pathos and challenge of a life well lived. Craig Hickman is a wonderfully memorable writer, full of goodness and a true example of God's glory. The "Lamentations of Craig" and "The Book of Songs" are pure poetry, full of strength and wisdom and stand alone as worth the read.



A Truly Divine Read, February 15, 2005
Reviewer: Adoption Angel (Flagstaff, Arizona) - See all my reviews
All I really have to way is WOW! The cover says "A Great Book" and it doesn't lie. I'm an adult adoptee who just happened to stumble upon this gem. I thought the title alone was worth my money, so I bought it. I had never heard of Craig Hickman before, but after this, I hope many people take notice of this great and talented author. I'm a fan of James Baldwin and it felt like I was reading "Another Country" or "Giovanni's Room." Hickman takes you on a wonderful journey (it seems like everyone in the book is on a journey somewhere) that is at times funny, painful, sad, ugly, but ultimately beautiful. Even though it's a true story, it reads like a novel. (It helps that Hickman chose to tell most of the story in the third person.) The writing is at times lyrical, biblical, and the poetry was phenomenal. And the letters! I won't spoil anything here, but the letters Hickman writes to his family members are brilliant. At first I was put off, and then I realized that letter writing is one of the most non-confrontational forms of communication a person can use to express difficult feelings. This book is not just for the adoption community. It speaks to all of humanity. The insights and wisdom found in these pages is like a wake up call for everyone. I couldn't put it down, and I know I'm going to read it again. I highly recommend this book. It is a truly divine read.

Another Week, Another 20 Books Sold...

Our new baby goat didn't make it. Two days after it was born, it soared to divinity and left Mattie, it's gentle mother, crying for three days. She's back to normal now and so are we.

A few readers were kind enough to post 5-star reviews of the book at Amazon.com and BN.com and I'm excited. A woman called up from her vacation in Florida to leave a message about how much she enjoyed the book. Said she couldn't wait until she returned home to Massachusetts to talk to me about it. Said it was "exquisitely written."

I'm truly humbled.

A nearby woman has ordered her fourth copy, having send the first three to friends. Called to say she still hadn't read it, but would most likely keep the fourth copy for herself, but "don't count on it." Love that.

All in all, promotions are going well. Press releases have found their way into Internet media outlets. Editors are requesting review copies. An old friend and college compatriot took it upon himself to add a post to his blog. If knew HTML better, I'm sure I could post a link here in this window, but his name is Matt Florence, his blog is called Still eggplant.... and he's in San Francisco. Check out his blog. He's doing great work out on the other coast.

Till next time,

Peace and Love....

Today is the Day!!!

Today is the official release day of Fumbling Toward Divinity: The Adoption Scriptures. So far the book has sold 30 advance copies. Barnes & Nobles has agreed to carry the book.

I couldn't have been more pleased with and humbled by a card I received in the mail just today from one of the advance readers. He has given me his blessing to post what he wrote here:

Dear Craig,

Just finished Fumbling Toward Divinity, a wonderful read. I was touched by your story, the poetry, the beauty & the pathos. You are a wonderful writer full of goodnes and truly God's glory. May God's blessings cover you and Job forever.

Love to you,

David

And Then There Was One...

This morning, our goat, Mattie, gave birth to three beautiful kids, but two of them were stillborn. It was sad, but the one who survived, which we have yet to name, is so cute. It can hardly stand up, but its high-pitched whine is music to my ears. JB, the dog, was jealous because someone else was getting all the attention for a change.

When we give the new member of our barn family a name, I'll let you know.

Till then....

Peace and Love.

Just As I am

I just watched the episode of "ER" with the same title as this post, and I was in awe. At first I thought, wow, did they get this story right. Carrie, the lesbian doctor, is reunited with her birth mother, a devout Christian. Of course, Carrie isn't able to reveal her sexual identity to her birth mother right away. She is too overwhelmed and surprised by meeting her. When she finally does reveal all of who she is, her birth mother says it's wrong and wants to pray with her and blames herself, wondering if her firstborn is lesbian because she abandoned her at birth.

Exactly like my own story. Right down to the dialogue.

And that's when I wondered... did the writer(s) of this episode get a hold of my manuscript or my galleys some time ago? Or was this just some cosmic coincidence? My own life some archetype for the lives of other gay & lesbian adult adoptees?

Probably the latter. But how could the dialogue have been so similar, almost verbatim at times?

I'll have to sleep on this.

Exhaling..

Since I last wrote, my book has arrived unblemished from the printer. Yes! It is a beautiful production, if I do say so myself, and now it's time to promote it.

Finding my birth family and the aftermath, which is what Fumbling Toward Divinity: The Adoption Scriptures is all about was an overwhelming, extraordinary, transformative experience that I could not have ever imagined. All my life, I wanted to look the woman who gave birth to me in the eye. Thankfully, I got that opportunity. I have a sister, also adopted, who has located her birth mother, but her birth mother has refused to allow her to see her. My sister is devastated. I'm angered. I share my story in the hopes that if only one birth mother who has previously disallowed her offspring to see her or know who she is reads my book and changes her mind, I will have achieved more than I could hope for.

To me, such a thing is a basic human right.

Is it always possible to get this information? Absolutely not. If a baby is found in a dumpster (or adopted from a legal (travesty of travesties) Safe Haven program) and raised by loving parents, that child will probably never know their biological roots.

I can't imagine what that must be like.

But when you know the information is out there and you still can't get it because the state claims its interest in protecting a person's privacy is more important than facilitating your healing, it can make you feel deep down inside like you're still the rejected child who's not worty of inner peace.

All the therapy in the world can't take the place of looking your birth mother in the eye.

Commencement

Daybreak has broken, the horizon gone from the color of burning embers to pale blue. As the sun spreads its wings, I commence to make this entry in my first blog. Today, the text and dustjacket proofs of my book are due from the printer. They are five days late. I could only catch snatches of sleep last night. My stomach tight as though a wide, wide belt were pulled too taut. My first book in eleven years bears the same title as this blog, and sometimes the fumbling is rough and tumble. But the journey is priceless, the destination sublime.

Come, let us go together.